The Secret

I love Oprah. Sometimes, though, I go in and out with my need to watch her every day. Sometimes I'm just not into the touchy-feely aspect of her personality and other times I crave it. I TiVo her every day and sometimes will stay up late into the night on weekends and watch her. It's like catching up with an old friend. I wonder what it is about her that so many women are in tune with her and connect with her show?

Anyhow, the point is I was a little behind on the latest Oprah trend. I call it a trend because whatever she's interested in at the moment, the whole country becomes interested in. So I just heard about "The Secret". Have you heard? It's this idea that you create your own destiny. That everything that happens to you, good or bad, you attract to yourself. This woman Rhonda Byrne describes it as placing an order for your life. When you go to a restaurant you place an order and expect to get it. She carries this philosophy over into her movie "The Secret".

A lot of religions would discount this philosophy owing to the fact that they believe in a god who is in control of their lives and the great world picture. But whether or not you would give that control of your life over from god to yourself, you have to admit it says a lot for positive thinking.

Have you ever really thought about the way that the first 15 minutes of your morning shape your whole day? If your alarm clock shakes you out of a deep sleep and you wake up feeling groggy and grumpy, this can set the mood for your whole day. But if you wake up on your own accord feeling rested and peaceful and thinking about the good aspects of the day ahead, it can totally change the outcome of your day. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't really have the option most days of waking up on my own accord, but I do try to be cheerful every morning. I do try to think positive thoughts all day long-I'm an eternal optimist, my husband teases me gently about it all the time, but I think he secretly admires that quality in me.

Anyhoo, the whole point of this pseudo-psychology talk is that Oprah has been relating the last few episodes to "The Secret" and the way that positive thinking can affect your life and the lives of those around you. So Nate Berkus, Oprah's little home decorating/lifestyle pet, who I think is just adorable and would love to meet him, did an episode called Nate's Biggest Challenge. He remodeled a 250 square foot apartment in Manhattan for a seemingly lovely woman who was non-complaining about her lack of space, but just genuinely grateful for her small space. She was precious.

Then, they went inside the skinniest house in America, a 750 square foot house in Virgina that used to be an alleyway.

I loved that episode. I burned it to DVD so I could watch it again without it taking up room on the DVR. As you know, we live in a 950 square foot house in a town where bigger is better and more is more and I go back and forth about feeling in love with my house and feeling that I should be giving my children more. (Aside: I usually feel this in wintertime when the walls close in and the wood floors thump with their little feel running back and forth and messes overflowing into the hallway.) But the truth is that I really love where we live and if I never had to compare then I would never be discontented.

Why do we, the human race, do this to ourselves? Compare? Judge? Hold one another up to say "The way I do it is better."? Homeschool or public school? Spanking or no spanking? Corporate job or self-employed? City-life or suburbia? Christian or atheist? Why do we do this?

Maybe the "secret" of life is just what James Taylor says and its only enjoying the passing of time....

Food for thought.

Watch Oprah.

Luscious Links continued....

It's all lovely blogs today, girls. Lovely, lovely, lovely blogs that I can't stay away from!

Bittersweet

Molly Chicken

Diary of a Rather Crafty Girl

This is my Life

Lost in Suburbia

PresentPast Collection

The Decorated House

Plastic Surgery

Why do people get multiple facelifts? Do they think that we can't tell that they have had work done?

Now, I'm not against plastic surgery at all. I think our body is kind of like our house and it needs maintenance just like a fresh coat of paint. I'm all about helping it along and hey, who's to say I won't do it someday, right? (Now, if you really know me, you know this will never happen because I'm too afraid of the knife and the horror stories of botched nose jobs and mangled breast implants...YIKES!)

But seriously, does Burt Reynolds think, realistically, that he looks better with his flabby skin tied behind his ears? Why doesn't he just age gracefully? I think men look distinguished with lines and wrinkles. And the man has to be about 65 or 70 and his face is as smooth as my five year old's. Puh-lease.

And some of these women look scary. Like Lisa Rinna (I think that's how her name is spelled.). She is such a beautiful woman, but she has had so much collagen injected into her lips that it is uncomfortable to even watch her speak.

Now you guys know that I have a penchant for particularly bad television and my most recent fascination has been this new Bravo show called The Real Housewives of Orange County. Oh, my goodness, girls, you have to watch an episode. It's like when you are driving along and there is a car accident and you don't want to stare, but you do. And you feel pity, but also a sick revulsion and you take a deep breath and you're just glad it's not you. And I'm so involved in these people's lives. I sit
there and try to avoid watching it when my husband's in the house so he won't say "Turn that crap off while I'm in here, please babe! I can't take it!" and I sit here and whisper "Oh for goodness sakes, Slade, just dump her. She's 24 and an idiot!" It's like a reality show soap opera.

"Hello, my name is Amber and I'm addicted to really really bad t.v.!"

Anyhow, these women, despite their huge houses and fancy rides and expendable income and children in juvie and the other children standing in front of them with their hands out, I feel for them. Behind their huge boobies and big lips and 50 year old botoxed foreheads they have really sad stories of loss and betrayal and they're just women raising kids and working and trying to have good marriages and me in my tiny little house in the Midwest, me part-time worker, stay at home mommy, PTO treasurer. Me, I feel sorry for them.

I think some people have plastic surgery to hide.

It was yesterday...

Okay, so Shabby in the City had a great post about things we used to play with and I told her that I would reminisce along with her. So, here goes.

I was always a little mommy and spent hours making houses and dressing dolls. My favorite thing when I was about seven was a huge refrigerator box that my grandparents saved for me. We cut windows and a door and a mail slot out of it and I spent days coloring wallpaper and shelves with vases full of long stemmed daisies Then I moved all my dollies in and had a great time mothering them.

I played for hours and hours with my Fisher Price Little people. Look
closely at this picture of my mom and granddad on Christmas day when I was about three and you can see the sesame street house that I got for Christmas. I had tons of them, the schoolhouse, the playground, the farm, the house with the brown roof. I played with them long after I was probably too old for Little People. The school bus would come pick the little girl up for school and take her to the schoolhouse while the mommy stayed home and made cookies and put the baby down for a nap. The daddy pulled into the blue garage with the door that went up and down in the little green and white convertible that could sit one little person in front and one in back and when he came in the door he would say "Honey, I'm home!"! I acted out whole episodes of sesame street and got so angry because the drawing of the place where Big Bird lived in the boxes behind the colored doors with Radar, his teddy wasn't drawn accurately. My girls have all of them now because my grandmother was so diligent in saving all the pieces. They still pull them out and build little towns out of them and leave them in the living room for days.

I also ooohed and goooohed over the My Child doll that was so popular at the time. I
had the red-haired one so it would look like it was really my daughter and I wanted her for Christmas so badly. That was the year that I discovered her hidden at the back of a closet and then when "Santa" brought her to me, I was delighted and crushed all at the same time because the mystery of Santa was lost. But I got my dollie. I also got the stroller and carseat set which was a huge deal because they were very expensive back then and didn't come all-in-one carseat, stroller, high chair, etc. like they do now. I drove everyone crazy packing the diaper bag for my dollie and strapping her in the carseat. On good days, my Shuggie would let me put the stroller in the trunk and I would push her along in the grocery store, occasionally stopping to say "No, no!". Once I took her to church and she was very naughty and had to sit in time out when we came home.

Everything revolved around making a house when I was a child. I would play in the
sandbox for hours with Ellen (I'm the chubby one with the really short bangs on the right) and we would "cook" sand meals for our family sprinkled with fresh "herbs" and wild onions. Then we would carry them back to the house we had made in the heavy, long hanging branches of the big oak tree in our grandparents' backyard and serve the meals to our babies on big, flat leaves.

Oh, I had all the Strawberry shortcakes of the early 80's and the care bears and I had one lonely cabbage patch kid because they were soooooo expensive back then. Ellen had about five and she would leave them naked and cold on her bedroom floor and it used to piss me off. She had one that was called a "Corn Silk Kid" because it had long flowing hair that you could brush instead of the yarn the others had. And after she had it for about a month the long flowing hair was matted and unmanageable. Sorry, dearest but you know I'm right. You were a terrible slob and I used to find old food in your room all the time. Brutal truth.

Anyhoo. So, taking a line from dear Shabby in the City, tell me what you used to play with. Or better yet, do what I did and post something long and rambling that I can come over and visit and read about....

Happy weekend!

Help me, oh Lord, please help me!

My pwecious doggie got sprayed by a SKUNK last night. Mother of our Savior, why did I want to live here? WHY? Dead rabbits, chickens that sit on my back porch and sqwak, SKUNKS! I have never in my life experienced anything as revolting as this.

Last night at about 3 a.m. I hear the pet door slap shut behind my little poopskikins and then about 30 seconds later I smelled this....this....well, I can't even describe it. It was like someone had scraped a rotted corpse and spread it over the pillowcase and my face was lying in it. Bad. It was just bad.

So we immediately knew what was wrong and we got up and bathed her. Six times. Tomato juice. Yes, yes. I know. DOESN'T WORK.

Girls, my whole lovely little house smells like...like...well, see the above. It is so bad. We put her out in the garage, but said skunk is frolicking freely somewhere in the neighborhood and has sprayed its essence somewhere in the vicinity of our house and it WON'T GO AWAY!

Help me. Someone. I've tried incense, candles, gotten out potpourri. I'm afraid to open the window in case it is lurking out there somewhere. Am I going to have to get this place fumigated?

It's a good thing the Cottage of the Month doesn't have a scratch and sniff section.

Please, dear Jesus. I'm a good girl. Make it go away.

Junk Store Finds

The Archers spent a happy afternoon yesterday sifting through old junk on an antiquing expedition.

You will be happy to note that it was my due-I earned this little shopping trip. I had, nobly, spent the night before hosting a sleepover for three giggling eight year old girls, running and fetching and gracefully not yelling at them to "Shut up and go to sleep for Lord's sake!" which is what I wanted to bellow from the dark recesses of my bedroom. But instead I tiptoed in and sweetly said "Okay, girls. It is 12:30 in the morning and high time for us to get our beauty sleep. You don't want Miss Amber to be depraved of her beauty sleep do you? You know I'll get warts on my nose and it will be all your fault!" I then got up at the crack of dawn and bundled up in my pj's and sneakers and ventured out to the cold garage and a 19 degree Saturday morning to bring home two dozen donuts for bleary eyed girls. I just could not face making chocolate chip pancakes (our usual Saturday breakfast) for seven people. Donuts seemed a much easier (if somewhat colder) alternative. Am I wonderful or what?

But it doesn't end there. I am so wonderful that I drove the girls home, a job usually reserved for Daddy, and cheerfully got our girls dressed and took an hour long car ride to a vintage 60's and 70's truck store so my dearest could spend exorbitant amounts of money on his true love-the 1967 truck that he has been restoring for the last six months. Not only that, but I feigned interest in packaged auto parts that looked like mangled pieces of metal to me and said not one word about the amount of money he just spent on said parts.

So, there. Don't you think that since we were so near a known Antique Village in our area that I was entitled to a little junking? Yes, I thought so too.

So, we spent all afternoon walking in the cold sunshine down brick sidewalks and entering warm dark havens of the past. Sigh. I cannot imagine a better way to spend my time.

And look what I unearthed:


An antique 1930's era tole tray. I won't tell you how much I spent on it. Hey-they are popular now and hard to find. And look at the recesses and cut outs! Lay off. But look at the mini red one! Isn't it adorable? And it was only 50 cents. Can't beat that!


Look at this pink shelf. Oh! Isn't is delicious? I literally have zero room on my walls for this. If you've ever been in my house you can attest to the fact that there is not one spare inch of wall space available for anything new. But how could I resist? I carried it around the house yesterday in my hands for about twenty minutes looking for a spot. Sigh. I love it. And the little lip on the bottom is perfect for a plate or a little picture. Love it.



Floor pillows for the living room made out of antique pink and white quilts. Perfect for laying on to play video games or watch movies, doncha think?

And this is a terrible picture of this print, but I think it might be my favorite find. I paid 12.50 for this vintage reproduction print that has been oiled and decoupaged onto a thin board and then they did whatever they did to make it look like an oil painting. Love it.

So, all in all a very productive day. We were all exhausted when we got home and took naps and then headed off to an obligatory birthday dinner for a family member. Don't get me started. Where we ate bad spaghetti and hard bread and paid a large tab that could have fed a poor family for a week, but que sera sera.

Oh! And my house goes live on Jen's Cottage of the Month page at The Old Painted Cottage on March 1st so stay tuned! Yippee!

In love with

An appropriate list for Valentine's Day, otherwise known as "Things I'm in Love With" (In no particular order)

Ahem.

1. Jason. Love of my life. I met you when I was 17 years old and have lived under your roof for longer than I've lived with anyone else. You are cherished and I know I don't tell you that enough.

2. My girls. So different. So lover-ly. How can you begin to list what you love about the children you brought into this world and raise and nurture to the exclusion of almost everything else.


3. Missy. Precious dog-ish. I love you to distraction and make daddy roll his eyes when I talk baby talk to you and bring you things like dog biscuits shaped like Valentines. I love that you sleep on my feet even when they are like ice and that when I get annoyed with you and push you off the couch, you still come wagging your little nubbin tail when I call.

4. Old Hooked Rugs

5. Decorating books.

6. Bacon. Have you ever tried putting it in spaghetti? Fry the bacon first and then saute your garlic and onions in the bacon grease (well maybe about a tablespoon of bacon grease) and then make your sauce. Serve the bacon crumbled up on top. Slurp!

7. Coffee.

8. Snuggling.

9. Roomsful of roses.

10. Balloons.

11. Hot chocolate with whipped cream and NOT marshmallows.

12. Candles.

13. Rainy Days.

14. Good hair days.

15. Getting my nails done.

16. Antiquing. (Read: Junking at the Archer house.)

17. Going out to eat.

18. Apple martinis

19. My friends.

20. Weddings.

21. Pregnant women. Not myself, other pregnant women. Even though you know they probably feel like hell, they look all rosy cheeked and full of life and the promise of the future.

22. Making pies. Especially pie crust.

23. Cooking in general.

24. Knitting.

25. Bad reality t.v.

There, that's about all for now.

Today while waiting at a red light, I saw a man with about 30 heart-shaped balloons make his careful way out of a revolving door and struggle into a busy parking lot while the wind whipped his balloons hither and yon and shove them into his trunk and backseat. And I thought. Wow. Balloons. I hope the person that is receiving those balloons understands that they aren't just balloons but a hassle and a tender show of affection from someone who doesn't want to give the cliche flowers. I just wanted to get out of my car and say "I hope they give you some good lovin's because you are a kind, kind man.".

Today while I was serving as homeroom mom for the second child of the day I stopped by the school office to pick up the candy bouquets that we had delivered to the school as a treat for the girls and saw a little child getting her temperature taken. When the attendance secretary took the thermometer out of her mouth she threw up all over the floor and all over Miss Kay's shoes. Miss Kay didn't even look at herself and her shoes but immediately wiped the girl's mouth and gave her a peppermint and a glass of water. "There. there," she said, "You sit over there and think about how you are going to miss that spelling test today because you get to go home." What a fabulous person you are, Miss Kay. You get flowers tomorrow.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours.

May you have a hand to hold,
A face to kiss,
A mind to cherish,
A soul to love.

Luscious Links for Sunday!

The Junk Gypsies


Layla Grace I particularly want this Hailey Full Ruffle Apron. Anyone?

Now, is there anything more beautiful and old fashioned than an Aga stove? It makes me think of little old ladies draping their laundry over the stove to dry, pulling a chair up close for the warmth with their darning and their glasses slipping halfway down their nose. Or the smell of baking bread or something delicious. I particularly want this pistachio one.

Let's see, what else. Oh yes,

Chiasso.com...Perhaps a bit modern overall for my tastes, but I love their polka dot dishes and etc. Particularly (have you noticed that I'm overly fond of the word "particularly" today?) this toaster. Ca-yute!

Curious Sofa Diaries another delightful bloggedity blog.

Bittersweet Ditto!

Basic French Online Just yummy!

Cottage of the Month

Will you puh-lease go visit Jennifer at The Old Painted Cottage and see her newest Cottage of the Month! This month its Pom Pom Interiors whom I've linked to before. But you just can't ever get enough of this yummie-ness! Go see. Go see.

More Luscious Links

Okay, real quick, because I'm going to sit out on the back steps with my sweetheart before the cold front hits...

Here's some yummy links for my little friends...

Okay, because I'm dying for spring and get a little moody when the cold weather/snow/sleet/ice continues for days on end, I just had to go visit an old post of Alison's and read up on some February treats! Go! You'll feel so much better.

The Decorated House
Simply yummy!

Now if this isn't the most precious Valentine's Day treat ever...this'll get ya right in the mood.

Oh! And Charlotte Lyons has a blog!!!! Go visit this talented lady! (Can you tell I'm excited!)

yvestown Delicious. I want to lick the laptop.

In a hurry...

Sorry, can't talk now. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, it's a balmy 65 degrees. The snow has all but melted and tomorrow a cold front hits us again with highs in the low 30's. Gotta go run around, let the sunshine hit me, chase the chickens, see if anything's poking up in my garden, ride bikes with the girls, walk the dog, sweep the front porch...anything at all to get outside.

I'm outta here.

Tagged again.

Well, I can't decide if I'm just a tuuuuurrribly interesting person or if people just feel sorry for me, but I've been tagged again! And you know how I love to talk about myself so here I go...

1. If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be? In this town pictured below...And the house would look like this...

2. What's your favorite article of clothing? My pink wool bathrobe and the jeans that make my butt look smaller.

3. Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex? Broad shoulder and a muscular back.

4.What's the last CD that you bought? Goodness, it's been so long since I bought a CD-don't you people know it's much better to download your music and burn it...probably the new Dixie Chicks CD.

5.Where's your favorite place to be? At home. Or in the garden.

6. Where is your least favorite place to be? Wal-Mart (ditto, Ash!)

7.What's your favorite place to be massaged? Oh, my back. Ear massages are good too-have you ever tried it? Have someone pull gently outwards on your ears and rub your earlobes and move them in circles. It's amazing how much tension the ears hold. Don't laugh, how could you?

8.Strong in mind or strong in body? Mind

9.What time do you wake up in the morning? 5:30 on the dot.

10. What is your favorite kitchen appliance? My KitchenAide mixer. I use it almost every day.

11.What makes you really angry? Oh, well, pessimism. The selfishness of adults. Child neglect. Bob Denver music.

12.If you could play any instrument, what would it be? Well, I play the piano and taught piano lessons for years. But I really want my youngest child to learn the violin.

13. Favorite color? Pink and yellow. Soft and muted. When the sun hits the yellow and it looks almost white. Faded faded pink. The kind that you see on old wallpaper that just reminds you of the color pink but is so old and worn that it's barely there.

14.Which do you prefer...sports car or SUV? SUV, duh. How the hell do you fit two kids and one friend each in a sports car? Or a load of groceries because you ain't seen how I shop-there's no such thing as one or two grocery bags for me? Or what about when it's my turn to carpool for cheerleading. Sports cars are for men and women who have mid-life crises or too much money.

15. Do you believe in an afterlife? Yes.

16.Favorite children's book? Okay, I started buying childrens books for my kids way before they were even born and totally agree with Kathleen in "You've Got Mail" that "reading a book as a child becomes part of your identity in a way that no other reading in your life does" so I can't possibly list just one. Deep breath. All the Ramona books and probably everything Beverly Cleary every wrote especially "Fifteen", "Ellen Tebbits" and "Sister of the Bride". All the Judy Blume books, especially "Are you there god, it's me Margaret?" "Starring Sally J. Freedman as herself" and "Blubber". Oh and all the Anastasia Krumpnik books. The Little House books, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, Pippi Longstocking, The Chronicles of Narnia, A Wrinkle in Time, The Secret Garden, Harriet the Spy, Little Women, The Trumpet of the Swan, all the Betsy-Tacy books, The Indian in the Cupboard. I could go on and on and on.....

17. What is your favorite season? All of them.

18. Your least favorite household chore? Laundry.

19.If you could have one super power, what would it be? Eeeeww, who wants superpowers-that's too much responsibility. Except, I would like an Easy Button.

20.If you have a tattoo, what is it? Dear Lord, I have no tattoo, although I came pretty close in college. Whew.

21.Can you juggle? Um, no.

22. The one person from your past that you wish you could go back and talk to? Ooooo, I try not to do that. You know, the whole "If I could do one thing differently.." thing. Leaves too much room for regret. But I would love to have just one more day. One full day with my granddad who raised me. So he could see the little ladies my girls are becoming. So we could go on a walk and eat strawberry shortcake. I would show him my garden and ask his advice on tomatoes. We would go eat Mexican food and then go to the movies and he could pick. Then we'd sit in the den at Shuggie's and play dominoes. Just one more day.

23. What's your favorite day? Friday. Remember Fridays when you were a kid and the whole weekend was wide open to you? I always have lots of snacks and drinks for the kids and we never do homework on Fridays-we save it for Saturday or Sunday. I always let them bring home friends and sometimes they go home with friends, packing up their little stuffed animals and sleeping bags and getting off the bus. Remember how long it seemed? Days full of sunshine and outdoor play and mom and dad in their blue jeans just waiting to play. Definitely Friday because it's so full of hope.

24. What's in the trunk of your car? Don't have a trunk and there is nothing in the back of my Jeep except carseats strapped in tightly. Yes, I make my 8 year old sit in a booster seat, much to her dismay and embarrassment. We have an empty the car with each trip rule.

25. Which do you prefer, sushi or hamburger? Oh, I can't choose. You have to get me on the right day. Today, hamburger. But I loooooove sushi.

Okay, so I tag Jen, Jennifer, and Alison

Gotta do it, ladies. It's a rule.

A touch of spring

Oh, spring where are you? I bought myself this little tidbit yesterday to remind myself that it does exist and will, eventually come again. I've got spring fever so badly and I, cruelly, bundled my children up yesterday and shoved them out the back door saying "Go run around for twenty minutes and let the sun shine on you." They stayed out for an hour and came in having depleted some of their restless energy. But it does nothing for mine.

I've mapped out my new deck plans. Designed my herb garden. Made a list of materials of Jason to buy at Home Depot next time he goes to replenish our outdoor garden supplies. He's oiled the garden tiller, stacked shingles for the playhouse, and purchase paint for my new picket fence. Fat lot of good it does when every time you step on the grass in our yard you leave a muddy inch-deep footprint and the ground is soggy and frozen.

One weekend. One, just one, of sunny spring-like weather would recharge me. The groundhog did not see his shadow, which gives me hope.

The girls and I spent yesterday afternoon making these football cookies for the SuperBowl tomorrow.
I bought the cutest football-shaped plates and bowls and green tablecloth with white yard-line markers on it for the table. Any excuse to be festive....

Jimmy Fargo

This is Jimmy Fargo. He is my husband's creation. He loves to undo the hour long routine of my calming the girls before bed in a total of about three minutes. Every night after the pj's/teeth/story routine, after the water bottles are placed on the nightstand, after the calm Classics for Kids has been turned on in the CD player, the lights are turned down and it's time for prayers, here he comes. Tickling, making the stuffed animals talk and the little girls giggle, turning serious prayer time into a cheer for Jesus "Go Jesus, go Jesus, go go go Jesus" and then leading prayer time with a hand-clapping, foot stomping cheer "Let's Pray! Let's Pray! Let's P-R-A-Y Pray!". Completely destroying the calm bedtime atmosphere. He stomps in with his hands waving above his head and his silly face on, he scares the dog or chases her around the bedroom until she flees, he brings out Jimmy Fargo.

Jimmy Fargo is his finger puppet created from a Barbie shirt that he found under the dresser while looking for Jacy's houseshoes one night. He put the shirt on his finger and drew a face on and thus Jimmy was born. Jimmy Fargo got his name from Molly. Please don't ask me the origin of it. She does this a lot and comes up with random names that she pulls out of nowhere. When she was about two years old I bought her a stuffed dog at Toys R Us one day (to quiet the I wants) which she immediately named Shelfy Belfy. I have no idea what she's got stored in the depths of her mind. I think she might be so creative that it baffles me.

So Jimmy Fargo must be called by his complete name or he gets mad and he comes out when someone is in a particularly bad mood and needs a smile. It always works. Unless it's me. Last night it was me. Sometimes I just abhor the bedtime routine and don't want to read a chapter of Ramona Quimby or Ralph S. Mouse or Laura Ingalls or whatever it is we're on at the moment. Sometimes I don't want to do the backrubs and sing the songs and get the heating pad for sore feet. Sometimes I just want to say "You don't need the damn waterbottles next to you every night-millions of children don't have huge plastic waterbottles next to their beds while they sleep." I just want to watch Grey's Anatomy and eat snacks and read my magazines. I want to take a bath and go to bed and read my book. I want to get online and visit my blogging friends. But we always do the routine and I was hurrying it along last night, apparently a little snappishly because as soon as the lights were turned down, Jimmy Fargo tapped on my shoulder.

Do you think I should be concerned for him? Or for myself?

Iiiiit's Groundhog Day!

"Punksutawney Phil lives in Pennsylvania. He is a rodent."
by Jacy Ellen Archer, age 5

Snow Day!

Oh, my poor children are going to have to go to school until June!!! We've had soooooo many snow days this year. They have missed a total of eight days already this year because of snow or ice. I woke up at my regular time (5:30 a.m.) this morning and flipped on the news and, sure enough, school is out today. I let them sleep in and when Molly woke up and rolled over to look at the alarm clock she shrieked "Mommy it's 8:00!!!! We're going to miss the bus!". So, I gleefully told her we would all (except poor Dad-ums) be staying in today-no work, no school-expecting a resounding "Yippee!". But, instead I got such a look of dismay. "Nooooooo! We're going to be going to summer school until my birthdaaaaaaay!" she wails. (Which, incidentally, is in the middle of July. Let's hope they aren't in school until then!) Sigh. I'm probably going to get fired, too, I've missed so many days because of snow and ice. (Not really-I bring work home and they love me and knew if my kids were out they could pretty much count on me not being there. Although, if I got fired, it would solve all my mommy guilt, now wouldn't it? Just kidding!) Seriously, though, I came home at eleven o'clock yesterday morning because it was snowing so hard. I saw three wrecks on my way home and all the way I'm saying to God "Please don't let me run into that garbage truck." "Please let me not slide off the on-ramp." "Please let me make it down the hill and into my neighborhood." I HATE driving on snow and ice and if you live somewhere up North where you have a lot of snow and ice, bless you. And please, before you make fun of us Southerners (or Midwesterners depending on what you prefer to label middle-America) remember we're not used to this stuff. And our County DOT is not used to it and they're running out of sand and salt. Yuck.

So, since I just put on my soft velour jogging suit instead of my work clothes and the house was quiet, I made this:

My famous apple pie.
We all have to be famous for something we cook, right? My grandma is famous for her pumpkin pie and turkey and dressing. My mom is famous for her baked beans. My aunt is famous for her monkey bread and potato casserole. My great-grandma was famous for her green bean casserole and sweet tea. I'm known for my pies. And I'm getting pretty good at them if I do say so myself. This is my apple pie. It's different than most because the apple is shredded and it has no normal apple pie spices in it, like cinnamon, nutmeg, etc.

Here's the recipe for your viewing pleasure and because I'm not at all selfish about sharing my secrets, unlike SOME people, ahem. Names withheld.

Aunt Bee's Apple Pie

1. Shred about six large peeled apples in a food processor, or a grater if you're so inclined.

2. Combine with 1 cup sugar, 1 beaten egg and 1 tablespoon of lemon juice.

That's it. Seriously. Put it in your own pie crust recipe and make it pretty. Serve it hot and steamy with ice cream, but wait until the ice cream starts to melt all over it before you eat it. Yum-o!


Okay, so here's why it's called Aunt Bee's Apple Pie. I'm sure you all know who Aunt Bee is from Andy Griffith, right? Well, if you don't, you need to hurry and find some old reruns from the Andy Griffith show because they are hi-larious and so innocent and sweet and we all want to live a sort of Mayberry, don't we?

Anyhoo, my name, of course, is Amber and when I was a little girl my granddad (who was the love of my life) called me Ambie. Then when my mom married my step dad who is wonderful, he nick-named me Aunt Bee. It was so embarrassing when I was a teenager. We'd be somewhere out in public, like a football game or the grocery store and I'd hear this "Bee!" "Bee!" to get my attention. It always did because I was so embarrassed and didn't want my friends to hear. The name stuck. My husband even calls me that now, unfortunately. He's always teasing me saying I should open a diner and call it Aunt Bee's Diner. And I can't remember the last time my brother called me by my given name instead of Bee. And that's all I have to say about that.

Look at the cute bathing suits I just ordered for my girls for Valentine's Day from Gymboree.

Aren't they ca-yute??? I always get them bathing suits for Valentine's Day even though, they just put them in their drawer for three months. Don't really know when that got started or why. We usually just get them a bunch of little junk. Bathing suits, movies, video games, books. This year they get the bathing suits, a DVD each, Molly is getting the entire "SuperFudge" book collection by Judy Blume because she's checked all of them out at the library so many times, she needs to own them. Even though we have no more space on her shelves for MORE books. And I got them some cute knee socks with pigs on them for Jacy and horses for Molly because those are their favs. Jabber jabber jabber. I guess I'll stop chatting now-I think I've had too much coffee this morning. My kids are driving me crazy to bundle them up and go sledding so off I go. I'll last about twenty minutes, I'm sure. I hate the cold.