Women Be Shoppin'!

Oh Lawdy, I don't know what it is about this time of year, but it makes me want to put my bag (or pocketbook as Oprah calls it-although I don't know how she could call it that-the purse she carries sure as hell won't fit in her pocket, I don't care what size jeans she wears!) over my shoulder and go shoppin'!

Women be shoppin'!

It's true. It's funny because it's troo-ooo-ooo. (Said in Peter Griffin voice and if you don't know what I'm talking about then, well, frankly we just can't be friends.).


So here's my gimme gimme list. You know, I try to keep one on hand at all times just in case, oh I don't know, I come into a large inheritance or win an unspecified sum of money, or just decide to run my husband's credit into the ground and go on a spending spree. Like it needs any help.

I feel, strongly, that I need this bag. I do. Well, after all, if women be shoppin' I need something to carry all that cash in, right? The price tag is, however, not Archer-friendly and I just don't think that I could squeeze that purchase into my already guilt-laden conscience.


By the way, do you take the plastic off when carrying it, or is that kind of like the plastic covered furniture of the 1960's and 1970's and a sort of protection against wear. Kind of like a purse condom?

I also reeeeeaally want this charm from Sally Jean. I just adddddooooore her. She's fab-oo and shabbeelicious!

I am a pink princess, you know!

This needs to come live at my house. It's weird and eclectic just like me and would look fab-oo hanging over my new shabbee lawn furniture, doncha think? Love. It. So. Much.

I also think these would be shabbee-wondermous hanging over them at night, don't you. Yes, these are on the list too. Are you writing this down?


Okay, well since we're decorating by the shabbee lawn furniture, I think I need this tabletop (not the yucky legs) sitting atop my shabbee white garden urn (it's ha-yuge) for a coffee table in the middle of my new shabbee lawn furniture, donchooothinkso???



Oh yes. Then I could get out my shabbee tea service and serve dainty little cakes on a sprinkle of a lace cloth to the mothers at my annual Mother's Day brunch. Ohyes,ohyes. (Spoken in affected English acccent.)

And last, but certainly not least, I neeeeeeed this rug to grace the floor of my pink boudoir. I neeeeed it. But holy family (and by that I mean Jesus, Mary and Joseph), I can't afford it. Have you ever heard about the champagne taste on a beer budget? I despise that saying. But its true. It's funny because its trooo-ooo-ooo.